wait, are you northern?

I feel like i’ve been exposed to Southerners more than most ‘northerners’ despite staying in the East Midlands for 21 years. I was met with plenty of Londoners and southerners at the University of Nottingham as the midlands is where all the fun is! However throughout my university experience i was labelled a ‘northerner’ when I wasn’t. Which was very odd.

Interactions & accents

This in itself exacerbates discourse involving the north south divide, who’s better than who? is it worth living in the opposing area on account of financial benefit?

For once i was othered in my own area. Which was strange really and something you’d never expect. This notion of me being a ‘northerner’ trickled into my friendships and relationships, even first meetings. Whether it be my housemates jokingly giving me ‘speech classes’ on how to speak ‘properly’ or partners poking fun at how i pronounced ‘bus’ and asking me to repeat myself like a talking windup doll. This is all a joke right? I’d hope so considering i took these lighthearted jokes in stride. I mean one of my friends even asked me if i spoke to my boyfriend at the time the way I normally do. What does that even mean? It’s not that deep though. It’s all a joke and then it wasn’t.

I had this realisation that I started internalising notions that being labelled as a northerner was something bad when I got told I was losing my accent. This wasn’t the first time i’d been told, in fact i’d been told this twice prior by others. My ex-coworkers, respectively younger than me, would tell me i speak ‘posh’ despite being from the same place as them. However it was different this time as it was a southerner saying this. I’m not sure why but hearing it from a southerners mouth stung more than it expectingly would. Understanding that I subconsciously adjusted my speech because of the connotations placed onto it wasn’t a pleasant feeling however the innate people pleaser in me isn’t necessarily surprised.

I asked how this was the case and I got told I spoke ‘softer’ than i did prior to moving to London. This language choice in contrast to the ‘grating’ and ‘course’ norm made me reflect on when it started to change. Was it in 3rd year uni when most of my friends were southerners? Was it when me and my southern boyfriend started speaking? I wish i knew but all i know is it’s changed slowly.

Womanhood and the ‘northern label’

Being told i’m not soft spoken in nature & that sometimes i’m hard to understand has influenced my speech alongside how i interact with womanhood. The patriarchy is most known for pushing the idea women should be soft spoken and quiet, with my previously brash speech it made me feel like I wasn’t womanly enough and in fact for a period of time I thought i spoke quite masculine. By adjusting my accent to fit the southern expectation of how a woman should sound, have I contributed to some sort of internalised misogyny in my psyche? Am I simultaneously perpetuating regionalist views by doing so? OR is this an attempt at social cohesion within my new environment to prevent experiencing othering like i had in the past.

Take the ‘Millie B’ example. If you’re not aware, in 2017 and 2020 there was this meme circulating social media spheres, poking fun at this girl who in her song M to the B speaks in her native Manchester accent and refers to herself as a ‘Manchester gal’. Obviously this was funny as a preteen/teen, seeing another teenager create a diss track aimed to her peers. But also was her accent part of the joke? Of course was not to be taken seriously taken the context but why were adults putting accents on and labelling her a chav (Council Housed And Violent)?

Despite my attempts at adjusting how i talk, when i talk and all together avoiding conversation, i am still subjected to the ‘are you northern question?’. Whilst in London, I did a small experiment with my interactions with strangers. My friend Rozelin and I (both not southerners) went to the freshers fair at UCL to see what free stuff we could get. At one booth particularly Rozelin had done most of the talking and I kept quiet. At one point the guy asked where i was from and i said ‘geographically or ethnically’ as every woman of colour does, to which i was met with that ever so looming question.

Not all accents are created equal.

Whilst this entirely is my own reflexive experience it’s imperative to highlight other drastic examples. The bristolian & welsh accent, the MLE accent and especially international accents experience much more unsolicited and unnecessary feedback. What i experience with my accent is practically obsolete in contrast to others but with this, the criticisms of accents however how small, have huge implications on marginalised groups, which is why I feel inclined to speak.